Frog Nut

My obsession with frogs has served me well over the years. I think when you really like something and other people know it, it makes it easier on them to get you a gift. I love golf. I love frogs. My mom knows this.

Why frogs? I think I formed a kinship with them when I was a kid growing up on Franklin Rd. Before more houses went up, there was a wonderful bog and long stretches of tall grass nearby. I can remember whole summers with various amphibians (I enjoyed a good salamander now and then) housed in buckets in the garage...for some reason I thought they'd prefer that to the bog. I would actually get stuff - dirt, grass, rocks, sludge, empty beer cans and cigarette butts - from the swamp to make the buckets more "homey" for my frogs. Which I think explains now my love affair with HGTV. I loved catching frogs. I don't know how into it you are, but those suckers are slick and they jump super far. I'm talking grass frogs. Their legs are like Olympic speed skaters'. If only they didn't hibernate! Man, they would be competitive. I also caught a bullfrog here and there, and the ultimate snag? A tree frog. Those were always my favorite. A little sticky around the toes, but so damn cute. The answer is: yes, I had human friends. Sheesh. I played baseball and rode bikes and dug holes and all that stuff girls do, but I was especially good at catching and caring for critters. Now that I'm all grown up, it's sort of awkward to have a live frog in your pocket at parties and meetings and the bar and stuff. So I'm content with collecting fake ones, of which I have boxes full thanks to my thoughtful family and friends. Frog ornaments, frog candles, frog ceramic statues in a variety of frog and non-frog poses, frog t-shirts, frog hats, frog socks, frog balls (golf), frog calendars, frog stickers, frog pillow cases, frog frames, frog dishes, frog boxers, frog books, scuba frog and pretty much anything else that could be stuffed to resemble a frog or anything that has a frog slapped on it. I even started a company called Frog Productions (still in operation! www.frogproductions.com) back in the late 90's. If you need a great website, call Chris. She's still frogging it up over there with my buddy Hank, Head Frog.

You'd think I'd be a little over the whole frog thing by now, but I'm not. Someone told me once that frogs are a symbol of success. They might have told me that because they were trying to sell me another armload of frogs...but I believed it anyway. It keeps me going. And it makes me feel a little less wacky about loving frogs.