Carry On

I've beat myself up enough about not writing in this thing every day as planned, so I'm not going to say it ever again. The deal is now and forever more, I will write when I write. I will feel pressure to write, but I won't hiss it out every time I'm a couple days late. This is the last time, got it? If I miss a day, I will reassure myself with a long look in the mirror, a wink and couple of shots fired from my right index finger and thumb. I am good enough, I am smart enough, and dammit, people read me. Sometimes. Whenever they have a minute. If they're on a break or something. It's cool. What's today's topic? Sigh. Drum roll....backpack vs. tote! Yes, that's right. I have issues with both and there is a winner, so buckle up.

Backpacks are extremely practical because they evenly distribute the weight across both shoulders allowing for more and heavier stuff to be schlepped. Add one point for backpacks. Backpacks are also extremely nerdy for the very same reason. Subtract one point for backpacks. I rarely use both straps because I dance like everyone's watching as previously discussed. Therefore, when employing a backpack, I throw it over one shoulder no matter how heavy it is. One exception is when I am at the airport. Everyone knows it's okay to two-strap it when you're also dragging a wheely carry-on behind you while sprinting to catch your flight. Otherwise, you put a tremendous strain on your right side (or left if left-handed) and if you have to turn left (or right if you're left-handed) you will snap something. If you have to turn right (or left if you're left-handed) you will fall over. The same principle applies to bikers. When I say that, I mean cyclists, of course. You don't see a lot of hard core motorcyclists throwing their legs over their hogs, adjusting themselves and then double-checking the straps on their backpack. The only people who can successfully two-strap a backpack outside the airport are people on bikes, school children and Mike, our computer guy. One would argue, then, why not a tote? When I say "one", I mean me. It would seem if you one-strap a backpack all the time, it's really just a glorified tote. But backpacks have a lot more compartments and zippers and secret stash potential than totes. Add one point for backpacks! Which then becomes a drawback at airport security. Subtract one point for backpacks. If you are randomly selected or unfairly profiled because you have a tendancy to yell "Yeah, baby!" whenever you kick off your shoes and remove your belt, the guys in security have to wipe that little white pad over all the zippers on your backpack. What is that, Clearasil? With a tote, they just open it, have a glance and see your porn right there. Subtract one point for totes.

For me, the backpack has the edge because it comes down to organization. It's my travelling file system. Certain pockets have certain responsibilities and despite my otherwise scattered self, I trust that what I think is in there is actually in there. My laptop has its own padded area. My receipts go in the very front pocket with cell phone. Pens troll the bottom of the main compartment. Crumbs are mostly limited to the subsection where snacks can linger for weeks. Bills to pay go in the middle somewhere next to the Sudoku puzzle book. Sunglasses and chapstick (if not moved to the pocket of a random coat) hang out in the netting on the side, readily accessible. Ipod, PSP, flash drive, extra headphones, AC adaptor for laptop, two random USB cables and electronic gadget of the week are jammed between the laptop and the bills. No less than three unknown or possibly blank cd's or dvd's either in cases or out also go here. There are little pockets just the right size for all those things in the subsection, but I don't like them co-mingling with the snacks. Knit cap and extra socks for the gym on top of the electronics. Manilla envelope containing incomplete printout of my children's book slipped in between the laptop and the padding. It's all there at my fingertips. For this reason, I feel I could be, on a smaller scale, a candidate for a fanny pack some day (shout out: Roni!). A tote just wouldn't cut it. I think totes are sassy (add one point for tote) and they look good on chicks who dig fashion and have time to dig for stuff. I hate digging for stuff (subtract one point for tote). If you're a big picture kind of person, the tote is good. All you care about is you put it in there and later, you will be able to find it. You carry all your crap in one big bag and when your phone rings and you answer your iPod, it's cool. I enjoy tote carriers. They make me smile. But the winner is: backpack. You might look like a dork wearing it to the beach, but you know exactly where the sunscreen is.