Are You Insane?!

Topic #24...Insanity breeds confidence. Sometimes I like to put a few big words together and see what happens. What was I thinking? I don't remember why I wrote this, but it must have been inspired by the number of crazy people I've seen attempt things that a saner body would not. I wish I were crazier. I might do more stuff. Like take the bus. Or eat at Arby's. Or bitch about standing in line at the post office. I think crazy people are missing a few filters, the kind that give you pause and make you look before you leap. I wish I could remove my filters for awhile and get a taste of the action. I want to be one of those people you see walking down the street yelling at cars to slow down. I want to be wearing next to nothing when I do it. I want to go someplace fancy and order a lobster, a crab and two sets of pliers, then put on safety goggles and a garbage bag and ask for extra butter. I want to drop everything and go to Hollywood and hand my screenplay to the first famous person I see. I want to write a screenplay. I want to have the balls to ride a roller coaster on top of a building while the building is rotating opposite the earth. I want to go to Mexico. I want to ride a bus in Mexico. One of those overcrowded ones where everyone's yelling in Spanish and I have to throw my luggage on top of the bus before I board. I want to stand in the aisle cuz I can't get a seat and halfway through the trip I want someone to hand me a chicken. I want no less than three toddlers gripping my legs like those little koala bear clamps that used to hold my pencil. I want to be in situations where I don't know the answer and I don't know what's next and God help me, I'm not worried about where the nearest bathroom is. I want to be without a net. Bungee jump off the bed and see if I spring back at the end of the day. I'm just not crazy enough. I'm too sensible. Sensibility is nice, but by the time I weigh all the options, the boat has left the dock and crazy people are yelling bon voyage. When you look at your life, see yourself, review your notes, I think most people are pretty satisfied with how they turned out. I like me all right, but I'm a bit of coaster right now. Not the kind you put drinks on, though I have held my fair share of cocktails while waiting for crazy people to come back. And not the amusement park kind, though I've been told by a psychic I am on a bit of a roller coaster. More like the sled kind. One of those plastic circle sleds that you sit cross-legged on with those plastic strip handles for grips. I'm on that sled coasting small slopes and handling it well. I need a bigger hill. One so steep I have no choice but to slip off the edge and hold on for dear life. One that rips the plastic grips from my hands so I gotta throw my arms up in the air. One that's more ice than snow so the sled spins me around and around while plummeting toward the forest at the bottom. One that gets me safely through the trees despite coming horrifically close to an Ethan Frome ending. I've been on top of those monster hills. I've surveyed those courses. I've imagined the worst. And I've picked up my sled, dusted the snow off my ass and gone in for hot chocolate. I'm not that crazy. But I hope I'm headed there some day.