Smile of the Tiger

I spend a lot of time in my office. Over the years, I have collected various items that could be construed as decorative or sentimental or meaningful to my job in some way. They grace my walls, line my shelves, spill forth from drawers, idle in corners, these things I can't seem to part with for reasons that tug at the back of my brain but never quite reveal themselves. Slips of paper with funny quotes, bobbleheads of Pistons long gone, cards from appreciative folks, stuffed frogs, magazines that should be retired to a waiting room, cables cables and more cables, a large rock (yes, a rock), a bag of fake money and much, much more. In the midst of all this clutter, all these things that warrant a slow shake of the head from co-workers who dare venture in, I have displayed one item that adequately sums up my feelings in any given moment throughout the work day. It's a framed t-shirt of a very fat cat with a deep frown. It says, "I Am Smiling." Oh, the delicious irony! And it's so much deeper than that one with the kitten dangling from a branch that says "Hang in There." You see, the cat is NOT SMILING. But...he is. According to the words over his head. Smiling inwardly, I suppose. Or maybe this is the extent of his joy. A frown. Or maybe he's trying to tell us you can't judge a book by its cover. He looks decidely unhappy, but truly, he's thoroughly pleased with everything around him. I think my general demeanor is positive and open and I don't have to work too hard to be in a good mood. Because I have the Fracker face, a subtle combination of my Dad's completely unreadable expression and my Mom's tendency to frown while concentrating, I believe I take on a somewhat disgruntled look while working. I might even look a bit pissed. Which leads to unapproachability. Which means people might avoid me. Which is why I think I collect so much crap in my office. I lack human intervention. When I received the I Am Smiling framed t-shirt a while back from my Aunt Gisela and my dear Uncle Jim (who passed away a couple of weeks ago and will so be missed), I immediately thought, hey! This will be perfect in my office. People will take one look and realize even though my face looks like you do not want to mess with me right now, I'm totally smiling! Really, I'm super nice! On the inside! Now, whenever anyone comes into my office and after one look at my face already starts stepping back, I only have to point at the poster and say, "No, no. It's okay. I am smiling." I feel a certain kinship with that cat. Makes me want to get one for real. Maybe that's the next step for my office. A huge tiger sitting next to me at my desk wearing the t-shirt ripped from the frame. Nothing says "I enjoy what I do" like a Bengal by my side in cat's clothing declaring smiles all around. I think I'll move the rock and make room for him...I have just enough fake money for a trip to where the wild things are. Which, until recently, was Ohio.